I never thought that Jesus had much to do with rock and roll, but according to some, the Good Shepherd intervenes regularly to cut short the sinful lives of some of our best-known and best-loved musical celebrities. Dial-the-Truth Ministries has compiled a list of dead rock stars at www.av1611.org/rockdead.html. The site tracks some 300 rock-star deaths, attributing about half to high-risk behavior like drug use and the remainder to natural causes like heart attacks and leukemia.

The implication is that while some rock stars kill themselves with their lifestyles, many others are struck down by God. According to the site, rock stars live half as long as regular citizens. Preachers have long told us that listening to rock music is playing with fire; this study claims that performing it is stepping directly into the flames.

Even outside of art, early death plays a huge role in Western society. Christianity sticks in our memories in part because of its own early deaths: Jesus ascended into heaven at 33, a full 3.9 years sooner than the average Dial-the-Truth rock star. Sure, there was a vast increase in life expectancy over the millennia — but was it not Jesus’ own lifestyle and celebrity status that brought him before Pontius Pilate?

Of course, there are differences between rock stars and Jesus. I mean only to point out the cultural significance of the demise; how we take an early, unexpected death, and remember it. We try to ascribe the death to cause and effect, try to find reasons why someone died before he or she should have. But coping with an untimely death is different than using it to send a moral message. A person’s life ought to be more than a political or evangelical tool, and those who manipulate the lives of the departed demean both themselves and their faiths. If we were to reduce Jesus’ life to its end, all we would have is a warning against bucking the system, not the rich and diverse set of teachings conveyed through the rest of His life.

Those who believe that rock music is an inherently evil force do not understand that rock music is simply a mode of expression. Just as language can be used both to denounce the Holy Spirit and praise the Lord, electric guitars and robust bass lines can be used for good, evil, or neither. Both religion and music can celebrate what makes us human, albeit in different ways. Rock music at its best articulates what it means to be alive, and in its own way can help us extend beyond our raw animal selves into the world of the mind and spirit.

Music can tantalize the aural senses, arouse the physical body, and complement the fine art of copulation. So for people who can’t stand Marvin Gaye and are tired of infomercials for Girls Gone Wild in the background while you’re trying to “get your bone on,” here’s a short stack of new choices provided by the DJs of WRCT.

Goth/Industrial: Here we have an expansive selection of choices depending on what kind of emotion you want to express, as long as it’s angry or sad. Depeche Mode’s “A Question Of Lust” or “Never Let Me Down Again” are tried and true slow romantic songs that set the mood and allow for some sensual writhing. Then, to pick up the pace and really get rough, try some aggrotech like Combichrist’s “You Will Be The Bitch Now” or “Enjoy The Abuse” — you’ll definitely show your partner who’s the boss. For those not interested in reaming but still wanting to make an impact, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails is an absolute foolproof solution. Following the climax, we suggest either Wolfsheim’s “Lovesong” (for cuddles) or “I Don’t Love You Anymore” (to kick them out of your bed).

Metal: Most metal songs aren’t really designed to enhance your sexing. If they’re mentioning sex at all, it’s usually along the lines of W.A.S.P.’s “Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)” or Cannibal Corpse’s “Orgasm Through Torture” — not exactly the thing that most people would pick for getting it on. However, if you’re looking for background music, there are always bands like — in increasingly ambient order — My Dying Bride, Isis, Angel Eyes, Harvey Milk, Corrupted, or Sunn O))), which will at least not actively impair your mood-setting attempts. On the other hand, if your preferred manner of getting it on involves breaking furniture and possible contusions, it’s hard to go wrong with Motorhead or Dragonforce.

Electronic: If you don’t mind long, slow sex, there’s always “Fuck” by the Hafler Trio, which clocks in at nearly a half-hour of strange samples and typical creepy ambient atmosphere. If you like a little less subtlety, there’s Nymphomatriarch by Hecate and Venetian Snares, featuring song titles like “Blood on the Rope” and “Hymen Tramp Choir,” which is an album made entirely out of samples recorded via contact mikes of the two artists having sex in a hotel room. If you like things even less subtle than that, do it near a TV and put on the video for “Windowlicker” by Aphex Twin, or “flex” by Chris Cunningham.

Bloodyminded is a Chicago music collective often associated with “noise” music. With roughly a dozen high-quality releases under its belt since 1996, Bloodyminded has many recordings worthy of columns in “Paperhouse.” However, since I am writing this article, I will focus on my personal favorite song by Bloodyminded.

The song is titled “Cost,” and it can be found on Bloodyminded’s debut release Trophy. The song has a simple structure, as do many songs by Bloodyminded. A grating, digital-sounding drone rings throughout the two minutes and 13 seconds; it acts as a sort of backdrop for a shouted poem, which begins a few seconds into the song. Vocalist Mark Solotroff delivers his lyrics with incredible conviction. The lyrics establish a sort of second-person monologue in which the singer seems to be yelling at another person. However, as one delves into the lyrical framework, it becomes quite clear that Solotroff is proposing a situation that is distinctly not of this plane of reality.

Solotroff begins by demanding an unnamed person to get into a car. The person (apparently some sort of prostitute) assumedly obeys, and the rest of the song proceeds as a sort of one-sided conversation. At one point, Solotroff yells, “Here’s the turnoff / Too bad you’ll be TURNED OFF / First by my idea of fun / And then, FOR GOOD.” Solotroff concludes by yelling “GET OUT. GET OUT!” He then repeats the lyrical content in its entirety with added stress.

When one listens to the song there is nothing else. The rest of the universe recedes and only “Cost” remains. It recognizes and engages the listener with the use of a spoken language, yet then immediately proposes an impossible human existence. I predict that if the entire world’s population was forced to listen to this song at sufficient volume for three full days and nights, it would cause all nations to collapse. All conflicts would cease and all men and women would no longer have need for shelter or technology of any sort. Even within the context of all recorded sound, the song stands in a class of its own. With the recording of the Trophy album, and especially “Cost,” Bloodyminded has achieved an extremely unique and informative form of human expression — one that all humans and perhaps even certain animals can benefit from experiencing.